Golf...

not the sport, but the Solitaire game. ever play it? my brother, Scott, taught me how to play it when i was about ten or eleven. the object of the game is to get the lowest score. here are the rules from Yahoo! Games:

Object: Clear all of the cards by moving them from the columns to the pile in order, with Kings as high cards and Aces as low cards.

How to play:
Cards are dealt into 7 columns of 5 cards each, with one "base" card at the bottom of the play area. You can remove any card from the columns that is either 1 higher or 1 lower than the base card. Kings are your enemy; No cards can be placed on a king (but a king may be placed on a queen). Aces are low cards, and Kings are high, so you may not play a King on an Ace. Remove the cards from their columns. If there are no cards that can be played on the base card, you can take another card from the pile. The game ends when the pile is empty and there are no more moves.

if you have cleared all the 35 cards and have some left in the draw pile, the cumulative score of the cards is how much under par you are. of course, if some of the 35 cards are left after depleting the draw pile, you are over par. simple game and a lot less tedious than Klondike...

not to be dealt with lightly, but...

we need a break from all the media's feeding frenzy with the West Nile cases in Colorado, which is nearing a thousand. leave it to Kenny Bē to lighten the mood a little...

btw, in Westword Magazine, there's another strip which tackles topics with a tongue-in-cheek approach, but totally speaks the truth...it's called 'The City.' here's one that most non-Republicans would enjoy you can quit the 'lalala...i can't hear you' bit now, derbs ;)

how can they be so happy?

the budgies are making a huge racket this morning...like every morning. boy, once it gets light...they start squawkin' and the finches start peepin'. what makes their lives so cheerful? i think if i were in a cage with another person, i would have few reasons to be happy. in fact, i'd be conspiring the escape the whole time! maybe i should put myself in their shoes (feathers?)...btw, there are two budgies, yellow and blue...guess which one i would be?

Big Blue: It's still a bit dark, did you sleep well?
Yellow Chino: Nah. that round headed guy keeps coming in, LONG after the lights go out, to bang something out on that rectangular thing with all the buttons.
BB: yeah, i know what you mean. that weird glow keeps me up on occasion too. he gets in here and hoots and hollers for a good half hour. just what is he doing? it's not like there's another round head in the room...
YC: and when that other round head is here, what they do does NOT take a half hour! and why do they light up when they're done? that smells worse than what they DO.
BB: hey, could we trade places? i need to use the cuttlebone...my beak is getting a little uneven.
YC: sure...but i thought you hated the mirror. you sure you want to see how bad your 'cage head' is today?
BB: move over! you spend WAY too much time in front of it anyway. besides, i don't think i could take one more chant of 'pretty bird...sexy one...yellow power'. it sounds like an audition for parakeet porn...sheesh!
YC: fine...you preen while i gorge your share of millet! hah!
BB: you'd better save some for me!
YC: yeah, whatever.
BB: gawd, we need some excitement in here...
YC: i wish we could just escape and fly freeee. you know what i'd do if i had that opportunity?
BB: yep. you'd be so piss happy that you'd fly straight into the mouth of a neighborhood cat. you love it in here.
YC: whaddaya mean, love it?!? i gotta look at you every day...ugh.
BB: please! you couldn't survive 'out there.' and where would you get yer coveted celery leaves? you swoon over those.
YC: hah! i only swoon over them because they make for some explosive action! have you seen my projectile pooping skills lately? i landed a couple on the desk and chair WAY over there...
BB: yeah, it is fun to watch those round heads pick up yer poop and listen to their stupid talk...like all we understand is monosyllabic...who's the bird brain there?
YC: nothing like being in charge. we got 'em trained real good huh? now get away from MY mirror, you might crack it...

yowtch!

knees are killin' me. the two long days in field and a couple of hours of v-ball tonight have them almost screaming. luckily, there's no swelling...yet. i think i may have twisted the right one a bit though. of course, no regular pain killers (n-saids, acetominophen, aspirin, etc.) help me at all anymore. and the glucosamine regiment is barely effective (for me) either. if one thing bums me, it's the fact of having knees that are at least 20 years older than the rest of my body :( i sure wish i had a stash of Arthred-G... this was a powdered supplement of glucosamine sulfate and a hydrolyzed protein that worked wonders for my knees about five years ago. it was a bit expensive...a two-week supply cost $12-$15...but was well worth the cost. OF COURSE, the stuff must have worked TOO well because it is no longer available. figures, huh?

anyway, in my blissful denial, i did manage to rub some Icy Hot into the knees, just so i could feel the cool air of the fan blowing on all that mentholate goodness. i guess it takes my mind off of them for a bit. now, if it could just inspire me to construct a readable blog...

missed some details over the past few days...

saw 'Seabiscuit' on saturday. quite good. the pacing and storyline transition were almost seamless; it did not drag at all.

also caught 'Hollywood Homicide' on 50-cent Tuesday at the Tiffany Plaza 6 Theatres. good thing it was only four bits because THIS movie dragged; it's even 30 minutes shorter than Seabiscuit! granted, there were some funny parts and a bunch of cameos (Lou Diamond Phillips, Martin Landau, Eric Idle, Robert Wagner, Gladys Knight, Dwight Yoakam, and Smokey Robinson), but i found myself almost rolling my eyes and sighing at some points. i couldn't imagine paying full price for this bit of a turkey...should mention that it cost $75 million to make and only has returned $30 million at the box office.

early yesterday, lois left for a family reunion in Coleman, Texas (near Abilene). i went with her last year and met many more of her relatives; i had only known four of her five siblings (she's the youngest of six) and some nieces and nephews. this year, she has to go it alone because my sister can't watch the dogs this week...she's housesitting for our brother, Scott. and we decided against taking the girls because they're rarely comfortable on long road trips such as that (one). besides, it's not always easy finding motels that will take one dog, let alone two. ah well, this means i can torment them at my leisure...heh...so don't tell lolis ;)

so i lied...

i didn't finish the story as i promised. so here it is:

unlike last wednesday, when we walked a good eight miles for the survey, monday was much shorter in distance. in fact, we probably only hiked about three or four miles. funny thing is, we were big time exhausted when we finished up around 5PM. was it the rain? i wonder if hiking in the rain is a bit harder than dry conditions simply because your body is not only trying to navigate over slippery areas but trying to stay warm as well. or is yer body just stressed because you're distracted with the risk of experiencing a lightning strike?

now, there's a wild phenomena...lightning. did you guys read about the 17 year-old kid who was struck by lightning on Webster Pass? he was heading back to his car ahead of a group of his friends when it blasted him, entering through his chest and exiting through his feet. at first, his friends weren't sure what happened; one even thought there was gunfire...until they saw the body smoking...yikes. even freakier, the kid had a tongue ring that shot out of his mouth when he was hit; there's only a black scorched mark where it once was...ewww. some funny images in my head...wonder if it's embedded in some tree...with some crispy tongue flesh still attached!

oh yeah, we did have a nice lunch that day. there's a Nepalese restaurant (Kathmandu Restaurant) in Nederland that serves the typical Indian lunch buffet - $6.95 gets you salad, naan, curry, saag, pakoras, basmati rice, a couple veggie dishes, and kheer. not the biggest spread, but a good deal if you can put three plates of food down and have enough room for kheer. btw, their chai was very good. maybe Dy can review it for Expedia sometime.

also stopped by the only Mexican restaurant in Nederland, NedMex, for a beer before heading back to Boulder. their happy hour runs from 4-6 and includes $1.50 Buds...big whoop. not a bad place though. the service was friendly and the chips were free even though we just went in for beer. $8 got us two Kind Java Porters (on tap), two baskets of chips, and a $2 tip for the server. no smokin' though! i guess being so close to Boulder has made some places in Nederland super strict...all the smokers had to huddle out on the patio with the cold rain as companions.

just a sponge...

wore the pants...put on the sunblock and insect repellent...and for what?!?

right after we got up to the Caribou area, it started clouding over. slathered the sunblock (since UV rays are worse when it's overcast) and got out the raincoat, knowing it would be a long day. well, as soon as we made it to the center of the meadow, there was a big flash and a massive boom - almost instantaneous. tell me, how many expletives escape your mouth when you're stuck in a meadow...with a Marshalltown trowel in one hand...metal flags in the other...and the freakin' car is at least 200 yards away? i usually settle for a few lungfuls of 'fuckfuckfuck' while i hightail my ass to the car. that seems to work...

today was a constant drizzle that showered us with a spray similar to the spot-free rinse when you're at the car wash. i hear that it didn't rain one drop in either Denver or Boulder. that's because the rain decided to park its happy ass above two human sponges who were busily locating old fire pits and railroad platforms...bleh. i shouldn't have used sunblock...especially when some 3M waterproofing would have been more appropriate! is that good for six hours? of idiocy?

argh, too tired to finish. will definitely pick it up tomorrow...as if you care :)

well...

i'm really trying to make a concerted effort to blog more...and i'm still failing miserably. perhaps i look at daily happenings as too mundane, looking for a 'true' reason to blog. however, i think the daily blog sometimes gets the juices flowing and 'masterpieces' occasionally follow. now, if i could just get out of the blogger's block that has my brain in a haze...

grrr...so itchy...must scratch (not there you pervs!)

the long wednesday survey has turned into a histamine aggravation-fest for me. i actually wore shorts to field, which is a stupid idea if you're in montane environs. the risk for poison ivy, ticks, and eeeevil scratches lurk with every step. luckily, i only sustained one evil scratch right under my left knee and some assorted insect bites. and yes, i did slather myself in insect repellent, but i've never come back unscathed; i've become used to being the only 'Chinese buffet' for miles when i'm amongst the bitin' bugs.

the only thing that is driving me crazy right now is a massive horsefly bite that lies under my right ear, on my neck. the knot is just a notch under pulsating. i have these absurd thoughts of it bursting in the middle of the night, spilling out a nest of maggots that have merrily feasted on my neck. just makes me squirm...

the survey did go well though. in a nutshell, a fight has been waged between two local homeowners and the City of Boulder, which owns a parcel of land that will become open space with a large parking lot. the bitter grapes stem from the location of the proposed parking lot. the most logical place for the lot is a wee bit too close to their houses; the locals want it to be moved further down the road and with some special reservations, which aren't very feasible.

anyway, we met people from both parties...it was one huge ass-kissing affair. each faction wanted us to side in their gleeful backstabbing. too much! we contract archaeologists are there to only give our opinion and recommendations. if they want to hash it out, i can bring the boxing gloves and mouthpieces. as for the low blows, they're on their own...'cause we ain't supplying the athletic cups ;)

my boss and i will have one more day to check things out though. he's going to submit a preliminary report later today. and tomorrow, we'll follow up on some of the flakes and building foundations that we came across on wednesday. gawd, it would be nice if they would let us drop a few test pits. i loathe surveying, but it's the first step in checking out a site for its potential. you can't dig without surveying first...

so, it's back to field tomorrow, WITH a pair of pants! and mebbe a raincoat... another thing i don't like about surveying...getting caught in a rainstorm (with crackling lightning) and looking down at yer hands...which are holding metal flags and electronic equipment...FUN! would you like to be the medium rare ribeye or the well done brisket? if you hold onto everything a bit longer, you can play the role of charcoal briquette! it's like the parting gift from HELL - fry, burn, boil!

finally...

the tag boards are working! of course that happens when i've totally forgotten the snide remarks i had dancing inside my head...

went to Blackhawk last night. i had some buffet passes to the Isle Of Capri casino. good thing because the buffet was certainly not worth $14.99 each...more like $9.99 or $10.99. still, food usually tastes better if you don't have to pay for it, right?

my $20 lasted about 90 minutes on the nickel slots and we headed home. it was not a lucky night for me...nor is it ever when it comes to gambling. i don't think i've ever won more than $30-40 at the slots. and the most i ever won playing poker in college was about $85. gambling is purely casual for me. i pity the people with gambling problems; they're always one win away from the big one. and when they do win, they're not content and start digging themselves even a bigger hole...all the while drooling a huge spot on their shirt collar.

lolis was lucky though. i think she came out $25 ahead...that's a lot o'nickels.

btw, like the Lowa thing...typing Lolis was certainly intentional. about four years ago, Calder, a little guy who lives down the street, used to call out to Lois from his front window. it was so cute..."Lowwww-lis!" so now you have Lolis and Pim Pim...

to start off...

here's the Friday Five (stolen from Nelle's blog)

1. When was the last time you laughed?

about 90 minutes ago...dad and i were heckling some lady on The Price Is Right, who had bid $36,500 on her showcase...when it was only worth about $20,000.

2. Who was the last person you had an argument with?

i rarely have arguments; i get along with 99.9% of the people out there. i would say it was around December 2001, with an (ex-)co-worker named Danny. he definitely fits that 0.1% of the population which epitomizes the phrase "major asshole."

3. Who was the last person you emailed?

one of the four or five close friends with whom i've stayed in touch since middle/high school, Chris Leete...i sent him one three days ago.

4. When was the last time you bathed?

after getting back from field, late Wednesday night.

5. What was the last thing you ate?

I ate a bartlett pear at eleven o'clock.

keeping occupied...

i've been a bad boy...

instead of doing constructive things lately, i've been playing Scrabble and Monopoly on the 'puter. the games came free with every box of specially marked (boxes of) General Mills cereals. in my case, i bought some Golden Grahams and Honey Nut Cheerios. i was tempted to get a box of sumpin' that was offering Candy Land too...a favorite from my childhood.

anyway, i've been spending an hour or two a day playing these addictive games. what else could i be doing? i could be watching the tube and getting all the latest results (yawn) on the bombing of the UN HQ in Baghdad...i could be cleaning the basement, which is a mess...i could be filling my tank and checking the tires...i could be calling all the people with whom i've neglected to keep in touch. nah, i sit here and eagerly buy up property and swoon when my thimble kicks the shit out of the iron in Monopoly. awwww...you bankrupt? too bad! gimmegimmegimme! sounds so American, doesn't it?

at least with Scrabble, it gets my mind working in manipulating the tiles. every once in a while, i've been coming up with seven letter words - i like that. and although i find it much more fun to play with people instead of the computer, it seems that my luck sure is better when i select tiles against the 'puter. i swear, i get one 'Q', two A's, three O's, and a 'J' when i play with humans. yeah, that's gonna get me a lotta points! at least D'OH (a la Homer Simpson) will get me a minimum of seven points...

so i'm taking a break from all that time wasting game stuff and blogging instead. am i in denial or what ;)

what should i be doing? i should be going and getting some stuff together for some survey tomorrow. my boss called me and we're going to do a one day survey for the city of Boulder tomorrow (survey will take place near Nederland). apparently, an area that we surveyed four years ago is under scrutiny by neighboring homeowners because the city wants to build a parking lot next to their homes. it's up to us to tell 'em if there's anything cultural worth saving or if they should pave away.

it should be a short day. surprisingly, my boss padded the figures a bit for the projected budget, so we'll be getting $200 plus our meals for one day of work. why can't it always be this way...sigh.

we'll see though. this area that we surveyed was quite rich in both prehistoric and historic resources. there is a large area that served as a Chinese miners camp in the 1800's as well as other sections that were seasonal hunting and gathering routes for Plains Indians, but most of it is much deeper into the tract of land. this mile-long path has been a trail for at least 50 years and may not reveal a large enough sample of good things for anyone to worry about.

almost noon and here i am, boring you guys out of yer gourds...

so that's why skeeters like me...

You come from Dark Water. You are solitary and
find peace in yourself, or maybe you're
turmoiled but pull off peace.


Where Did Your Soul Originate?
brought to you by Quizilla

wotta good weekend!

had a lot of fun this weekend! in addition to seeing Lu Ann (gal whom I hadn't seen in 21 years), lois, her sis (Pauline) and bro-in-law (Ken), and I just hung out playing games the last two nights.

tonight, we played eight hands of Hearts...and I won! whoohoo! i ended up finishing with 16 pts...lois (35)...ken (69)...and pauline (88). i really lucked out because i never got stuck with the Queen of Spades - whew! it was a lot of fun because i probably hadn't played in more than ten years with people...and it had been at least five years since i played a hand on the computer.

last night was filled with dominoes. i learned two new games, 42 and Chicken (Foot). anyway, lois and her family played 42 a lot when she was young and Chicken Foot was THE domino game in the late 90's. 42 is a bit nerve-wracking because it's partner based...almost like Bridge. i guess if you really wanted to cheat, it wouldn't be hard to devise an elaborate scheme. Chicken Foot games are short and fast...a good way to end the night.

tonight, we also finished the rest of a Pure Heart Seedless Watermelon. are you familiar with this type? it's kinda like the center of a watermelon. the rind is really thin and the flesh, SO sweet! they're about the size of large cantaloupes (about 5-7 lbs.) and are usually $3.99...although i did buy one for $2.50 three weeks ago. right now, i've only seen these at King Soopers. they're nice alternatives to buying humongous watermelons that are 15-20 pounds and not very sweet. even a watermelon freak like me gets tired of eatin' the damn thing all week so it won't rot ;)

another fruit that i've been enjoying immensely is the plum. i've been buying red and black ones...letting 'em ripen on the table...and totally savoring their sweet flesh. when i was a kid, my grandmother always had some in the fridge (too bad that diminishes the sweetness), but i do have fond memories eating them in the summer... i'm glad that i have a new-found appreciation for these juicy little buggers ;)

hey, don't get any watermelon juice on the cards now... i'll be back soon. i'm just gonna take a quick jaunt to Louisiana to see if there are any more free pears at Rachel's - still jealous.

still the weekend...

got this from Danelle's blog...

Weekly Wrap-Up

1. Do you enjoy arts & crafts? Why or why not?

Yeah, I do. I have a good eye for detail; I like to watch things take form or look for subtle changes of color. However, I think I'm a bit more visual than tactile.

2. What was your favorite arts & crafts project as a child? Why?

Definitely pottery. My brother, Steve, was a potter and taught me how to throw when I was 11. Making dioramas for class was always fun too. I once tried to replicate an aquatic biosphere (out of unflavored gelatin) to study the rate of decomposition and mold in Freshman Biology...too weird.

3. What kinds of arts & crafts do you do now? Has this changed over time? If so, how and why?

I still dabble in photography...but I haven't shot B/W in more than five years, nor do I do creative stuff like Denny. I have done a good amount of photography in field and through my travels. I have 4-5000 slides of Latin America, 75% of which are probably archaeological sites.

4. What kind of arts & crafts would you like to learn how to do? Why?

Probably painting. I have a sister who is an awesome artist/musician. I remember watching her do unreal things when I was five - just mindblowing. I wish I had 1% of her artistic talent... Getting really deep into pottery would be cool as well. Glazes are fascinating...as well as certain styles of Native American (e.g., Santa Clara Pueblo or Acoma Pueblo). Different sketching mediums interest me as well.

5. Describe your ideal arts & crafts environment, whether it's at home, school, work, or elsewhere.

If money weren't a factor, I wouldn't mind putzing around in a wood workshop. There's something about sanding...so calming. Working with a lathe is good fun too!

For work, it would be handling pottery sherds in a laboratory. Now, the washing and cataloging get old fast, but I love vessel reconstruction and color reproduction (pencils) of diagnostic pieces. Pen and ink work is okay too, but I like the exacting work with color.

can 'erb come out to play?

oooh...i do like rosemary! the smell and flavor are fresh and unique...


YOU ARE ROSEMARY


What herb are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

good day...

went to the Empress Seafood Restaurant on W. Alameda today. parents are celebrating their 56th wedding anniversary today. there were about 15 of us.

typical outing for my parents though. some weeks, they go the Empress three or four times. it's pretty much the Chinese restaurant standard for much of the Chinese community in Denver. although their regular menu food isn't stellar, the 'other' menu which offers banquet-style food, is really good. of course, some of the food would probably be alien to some, as the majority of Chinese people certainly didn't grow up eating Sweetnsour, chow mein, or egg rolls. i'm talking about Westlake Beef Soup...black mushrooms and baby bok choy in oyster sauce...honey walnut shrimp...chinese broccoli (gai lahn) and beef...soy sauce chicken...fatty roast pork... roast duck...steamed sea bass...and sliced oranges for dessert. and usually in that order ;) nine course meals are common in Chinese celebrations because it's considered a lucky number. wouldn't you want good luck for a couple who is getting married? or an anniversary/birth of a child?

if i would recommend anything at the restaurant, it would be their lobster and dim sum. the lobster is usually 20 oz. and can be prepared for you one of three ways (steamed whole, chopped up and cooked in black bean sauce, or chopped and cooked with green onion and ginger - the best way) and is $14.95...a killer deal for lobster.

now, the dim sum is usually good and consistent. their baked roast pork buns, custard tarts, and shu mai are among some of the best in town. dim sum is best shared amongst more than three people...in order to maximize the variety. you could probably eat quite well for less than $10/person and leave stuffed.

it's funny about the dim sum thing because as a kid, it was a special thing. there were few places that served dim sum and those that did, only served it on saturday and sunday (until 3PM). now, there are more restaurants and some serve it every day and even into the night...no longer is it an event to which i look forward. still, it's always a treat to take people who have never had it or not had it in years; i get to educate them in what they're eating and they get to nosh on something completely different than the 'Chinese food' that they're accustomed (to).

this day was extra special not only because of my parents' anniversary but because i saw someone that i hadn't seen in more than 20 years. this gal, Lu Ann, used to work for my parents in the early 80's. she was WAY cool; my sister and i worshipped her. she was just a really nice person who was kind of the rebel of her family. we had a great time working with her for those two or three years.

anyway, she had moved to the San Francisco area in 1982...and we actually saw her that summer in Oakland, but not since then. i always had wondered how/what she was doing... i had even attended three conferences in SFO in the last six years but never made the time to look her up...oops.

luckily, she and her husband moved here a couple months ago, so we can all catch up now! seeing her really made my day...yay!

i'm just a sentimental kind of guy. i guess my reminiscent feelings get stronger as i get older because those were such good times. i even try to relate some of the bad things to you guys in a funny recollection; self deprecating humor can be therapeutic. of all the painful (although funny) things that have happened in my life, i don't mind talking about it...i just don't wanna go through it again!!!

oh really?

A strong-willed herald of causes against injustice, you passionately strive to right the wrongs around you.

Somebody has to save us, kids!

so i'm now Carrie Fisher...eh? a lot of the 'justice' feelings come from being born in the year of the dog (Chinese Zodiac). and it's nice to be able to contribute in any situation. however, i'm not like Princess Leia, who is more of a 'my way or the highway' type. when I'M in charge...you'd probably stay out on the highway because i never ask for help enough ;) now there's a fault...

okay...

finally have something to talk about. whaddaya think about the massive power outage in the Northeast? Denny has already posted his professional take on the blackout. yeah, i think the majority of people out there are pompous asses about most things until they are in dire need of something. it's really sad because in my typically spiteful fashion, i just want to dangle it in front of them and ask, "How does it feel to NEED? You jerks need to be more appreciative of life's conveniences."

Lois has two immigrant friends who are truly thankful of what they have. One is Ethiopian...she often drops this line, "Be thankful of the small things because if you're not, you won't get any big things." Amen.

The other friend is Romanian and works for Denver Water, policing the offenders. Anyway, a couple times, these fools have not been very nice to her when she has to bust them. Usually, she takes the high road and calmly gives them the lowdown and why...with an ounce of patronizing attitude. Still, she has to bite her tongue and grit her teeth (but not simultaneously ;) on occasion because she would really like to go off on these water wasting boobs. If it were up to her, she would take them to the village that she grew up in, with a well that often ran dry. She remembers some of the hardships of not having water...even dredging up mud to try and get some moisture from it.

This brings me to the topic of the watering schedule to which 'good' Denver citizens are stringently adhering... I think it was a mistake for Denver Water to allow one more day of watering. Why don't we really conserve and build up the reservoirs to capacity? Was there really that much pressure upon them to weasel out and give in?

There's an irony to this 'extra day' that was provided. We're trying to save water right? Just restrict the times of the day that you can water and limit the duration. Well, mathematically, this three days a week is allowing us to water two to three days more in a month than with the old 'every three days' rule. For example, looking at this month, we can water thirteen times. On the discarded schedule, it was only eleven times. Yeah, that's gonna save us a lotta water...

The restrictions that were administered last year in Walsenburg were quite effective. Wasn't it a moderate fine for the first offense...a large fine (like $1000) for the second...and water supply shut off for the third? Now, that really sends a message.

I am big time grateful for our water. Denver water is WAY better tasting than many other metropolitan areas in the U.S. Chicago water? ick... L.A.? double ick with an UGH thrown in.

Okay, I'll admit that I'm most grateful for our water supply because it allows us to use as much TP as we need and flush it too. In many other countries, they lack wide pipes (hafta deposit the paper into the trash can, which may already be brimming with wonderful stink)...sufficient water pressure (nothing like a floatie)...or plumbing altogether (you'd better have good aim in Chala, Peru).

Sure, we've all gone camping and done our business in the wild...or in sweltering, sunbaked outhouses...but that situation has always been temporary; knowing with relief (both literal and figurative) that our shiny porcelain havens with favorite reading material and fragrant deodorizers awaited us.

Whew! Is it me or has enduring this blog made you both thirsty and pooped (heh)? Be nice now... Dumb humor is my caffeine!

yeahyeah...i know

as a bit of a cop out, i (too) am gonna do the Friday Five even though it's now Sunday morning...heck, Danelle didn't do hers until almost midnight and Diana just did hers last night...you get the Sunday version...and who's going to do a Monday version ;)

1. What's the last place you traveled to, outside your own home state/country?
Spent eight days in Mexico City and Mérida in March, right after the mongo snowstorm. Rainy in the capital and hot as HELL in Mérida, but way better than the snowmelt here.

2. What's the most bizarre/unusual thing that's ever happened to you while traveling?
A lot of crazy things have happened. Unfortunately, the most bizarre thing will have to be a separate blog because it's a bit long and so f**ked up that it deserves its own.
I will recount a crazy one though...
About eleven years ago, I was in the main fruit/vegetable market of San José, Costa Rica when the police decided to perform a sweep of permit checking of the vendors. Well, the majority of the vendors were selling illegally...so they ended up throwing much of their merchandise at the four cops doing the sweep. You should have seen the terror in their eyes; I have never seen so much fruit fly! I ducked into a doorway and watched them get pummeled with tomatoes, apples, and even papayas (which are the size of cantaloupes in Central America). It took about a couple minutes to restore order, but I will never forget the sight and smells of that fiasco. And with my usual bad luck, I left my camera at the hotel that day...
One of the most surreal experiences I've had traveling was when Lois and I were in the Cancún area for a visit. We had rented a car to check out an (out of the way) Late Classic Maya site called 'Ek Balam', which means Black Jaguar in Yucatec Maya. After lunching in a small town north of the site, we decided to take a different route back, thinking it would be shorter. HA! Of course, looking at the map, we believed we could catch the main highway if we just headed east from this town (Tizimín). The road, although very narrow, was well paved...for about an hour. Apparently, the gov't was still in amidst of a major paving campaign; the road disappeared...signs were non-existent...and we were mired in mud with an old, blue VW Bug. We passed through a town at around sundown...hoping to find the main road again. And in the middle of this tiny Maya town, was a three story high, green pagoda! We were like, WTF?!? We asked a local where the main road was and he told us, "Just go back to the 'palace' and hang a left." He was right...and we got back to Cancún...we just never figured out what a green pagoda was doing in a Maya village...too strange!

3. If you could take off to anywhere, money and time being no object, where would you go?
Either all of South America or Thailand, Cambodia, and Laos.

4. Do you prefer traveling by plane, train or car?
Mostly by plane...but trains (although slow) are romantic...and car trips are fun in the U.S. and parts of Mexico (driving can be harrowing though).

5. What's the next place on your list to visit?
Maybe a jaunt to Texas for a reunion...Monte Vista to see those Murphy girls and the Great Human Rash of the Valley ;). And if things don't fall through, London in December for a few days.

Friday was a peach of a day...

got to blog a couple times...went to the bank...spent some time with my dad...all good. well, i thought it was all good until i found out i was in the running for a JOD (Jackass of the Day award). it's definitely a performance award, similar to the Oscar, Tony, Emmy, Obie, etc. the statue is not golden, but a bit furry and looks like Shrek's head.

i was in no danger of winning the prize, as it had been a pretty quiet day. i didn't have to compete with the guy who tried cutting down a beehive with a weed whacker or those two soldiers who were merrily playing a drinking game that involved simultaneous Russian Roulette and landmine leap frog. i hear those guys are the most nominated...

so what put me in the running for the JOD? i accumulated some points when i went to get a haircut from my stylist, KC. i asked her to cut it a bit shorter than usual...i didn't know that 'a bit shorter' was 'let's cut an extra inch off and make his jug ears stick out!' good thing it'll grow back...but for the time being, i look like my brother who is on a blacklist that i share with my sister...grrr

a few hours later, i was watching the rain hammering everything in sight...talk about a drench-fest. well, this is when i got those extra points, making me a contender. mesmerized, i was watching the sheets of rain crash on the roof across the street when i realized that i had left two of my car windows ajar. you know, it's one of those 'AW, SHEEEEEYYYIIIITTTT!!!' moments...and the jackass ears just come up, like some cartoon.

so instead of gallantly running out to the car and rectifying the situation, i sheepishly watched as Lake Honda and its feeder, Lake Accord, built up some reservoirs...sigh. ah well, it's not the first time that has happened. in fact, i've probably let it happen 15-20 times in the last six years...poor thing is used to it.

therefore, i'm not sure if that performance will get me the award, since the multiple occasions in which it has happened will count against me. still, i'm keeping my fingers crossed...if i win, i can add it to the other two that i won in my teenage years...i'll blog about those two incidences soon...they're classics!

such aspirations. i hear that there's a similar, but more prestigious honor that is much harder to achieve. it's called the Horse's Ass of the Decade (HAD) award. although it may be awhile before the next winner is declared...and a few more opportunities to gather appropriate contenders...but i hear the front runner (by leaps and bounds) is a guy named Dubya...i don't think i stand a chance.

before the DEET parade passes by...

WARNING: this is a long blog...so grab a Diet Pepsi or beer ;) popcorn?

i thought i would join in on the 'to DEET or not to DEET' talk before it fades away. looks like Laura and Danelle are on opposite sides regarding this topic. me? i'm kinda in between...

i agree with Laura that there are other viable alternatives to using DEET-laced ingredients. items such as citronella sprays...Skin-So-Soft...and even garlic pills are shown to be of some slight effectiveness; many people swear by them though and word of mouth works to an extent. it's interesting to find out that catnip may work as well. maybe i should go to the store and buy a catnip mouse and wear it around my neck... how about this...catnip barrettes for women...catnip nipple rings for guys...catnip wet wipes for babies. it's all about protection...

while i'm in the States, i rarely use insect repellent. maybe i avoid states which have lots of standing water ;) really though, i'm not bothered much by mosquito bites wherever i may be; i may get a handful...but it's not much of a concern.

however, when i travel to Latin America, i carry my little shrine to the DEET god, FOS (fuck off skeeter!). i have used 100% DEET on a couple of occasions, but tend to rely on the 20-30% concentration. through personal experience, i have found that using 100% DEET (which can melt plastic over time) can make you light-headed through prolonged use and burns sensitive areas if you applied too closely to the eyes or lips.

i am a DEET proponent because the bugs really come out when i am in jungly, tropical areas of Latin America. i swear, i even get bites when i use the DEET product. i guess it would be much worse if i didn't have it; i've been too chicken to experiment with DEET alternatives.

it's like the insects KNOW when i arrive in town. i become the traveling 24/7 Chinese buffet when i am visiting...even they get yellow fever heh

you know, i'm wondering if the mosquitoes go after a certain scent. lois and i can go be in the same place, use the same amount of repellent and she won't get one nibble. in fact, she'll still get even fewer bites than i, when she avoids the repellent altogether.

i have also learned the hard way to applying repellent. if you are using sunscreen, you need to apply that before the repellent to maximize the effectiveness of the DEET. on one trip to northeastern Bolivia, i was doing the opposite - repellent first - and i ended up getting around 120 bites in about four days...some didn't go away for about three or four months. and sometimes it doesn't matter...i got sand flea bites on my arms in Peru that didn't go away for six months. of course, i don't think many of you will schedule excavation of looted graveyards along the Pan-American Highway anytime soon ;)

there is one product in which i am greatly interested though. we'll have to go and find a shaman in Quetzaltenango, Guatemala who helped my friend, Cheryl. she and her husband were attending language school there for a month or two. during her visit, she was getting killed by mosquitoes and other assorted insects - sheer misery.

one day, she was sitting in a cafe with her hubby when a little Maya shaman walked by and noticed her multitude of bites. he asked her if she wanted something for the bites. of course, she begged him for any relief. he told her to meet him in the same place the next day...

the next day, they met and he sold her a homemade salve that he probably put together the night before. she was supposed to apply a thin coating on her arms and legs for three days and refrain from bathing. i think the she paid 40 Quetzales (enough for a cheap hotel room or 2-3 meals), which was about $7 then...today, it's closer to $5.

well, i guess the salve was pure evil because her husband slept on the couch for those three days. apparently, the smell was gut wrenching. nevertheless, it worked beautifully. Cheryl told me the bites went away...and she didn't itch at all.

about a week later, she saw the little man again and told him that the stuff was great...and that she wanted to purchase more. the shaman gave her a quizzical look and asked her why, because she didn't need any more. he told her that the salve was good for life.

unbelievably, this was true. i dug with her later that summer and she didn't get a thing...nor has she had any insect bite since that day in 1995...bug bite free for eight years running!

hmmm...super strong OFF! or super stinky Guatemalan salve...both are $5...tough choice.

it is confirmed...

Americans have too much time on their hands. what's this soon-to-be flash mob craze anyway? i just find it kind of odd...but maybe it's funny if you witness it. i'd find it MUCH more amusing if these people gathered to throw money in public places. now, THAT would really start a mob...

new template...

so some of you will no longer have to go all the way down to the edge of the page to tag. still, i liked the color of the old one...

speaking of colors, has anyone seen the new purple-colored foil for the new, dark chocolate Hershey's Kisses? i saw a pic of them in the paper a couple days ago. DARK CHOCOLATE...my fave! i may go to the store and buy one of the massive Hershey Special Dark blocks that you can find in the candy aisle...sigh. i guess i should buy an extra toothbrush while i'm there, eh?

mmm...comfort foods

recently, on the blogs of Cindi and Danelle, the topic has been about weird food and comfort food from our youths. if you go back to my July 23rd post, you can read about some of the strange gastronomic experiences i've had, so i'm gonna talk about some of my comfort foods...

Cindi brought up canned meats such as Vienna Sausages, Meat Spread, SPAM, et al. we never ate many of those things in my household, but i still love Corned Beef Hash once in a while. maybe it's the saltiness...or the crust (if you cook it long enough)...or the flavor of the two basted egg yolks mixed in. nah. i can tell you it's the addictive flavor of all those grams of fat per serving. sorry i don't have a can to run the numbers off...

other guilty pleasures...all canned

Beef Stew...Castleberry's though, not Dinty Moore
Franco American Spaghetti...only the small cans though...the big cans somehow leech the flavor of the can into the pasta...ick
Swanson's Chicken a la King...ooh, that and a bit o' rice (maybe i shouldn't use the o'; it's not Irish rice ;)
Hormel's Tamales...paper wrapped tamales swimming in a pool of grease and broken pieces of masa. sure, i'm a purist now, but my mom got me hooked when i was little.

and some others...

mayo (or Miracle Whip) sandwiches...mmmm.
mac & cheese with a can of tuna...in oil, not water-packed...too fishy.
braunschweiger (liverwurst) sandwiches.
ham, egg, and cheese sandwiches...the Denny's by my house serves an awesome Moon Over My Hammy sammiches!
melons...crenshaw, casaba, canary, you name it...my Uncle Joe got me hooked on these melons when i was about 8...and we'd walk over to the family-run, Town and Country Market.
Peach Nehi...better than grape!
Vernor's soda! like ginger ale and cream soda put together...
Hires Root Beer...waaaay better than Dad's, Barq's, A&W...
Dolly Madison's cinnamon ice cream...or peppermint (w/ the red and green candies)

these are from growing up in my parents' Chinese restaurant...

roast pork sandwiches with melted cheese...my brother, Sandy, makes the best chinese bbq pork and ribs...whimper.
egg drop soup with rice or chow mein noodles.
sweet and sour chicken nuggets...at lunch, we stopped serving white meat chicken breast for the sweet & sour...too time consuming and a smaller profit margin... but this was still a good alternative.
my dad's chicken subgum chow mein...something about that mixture of celery, peas, carrots, water chestnuts, and chow mein noodles...crunchy ecstasy!

Danelle mentioned something about Mark having a sliced hot dog sandwich too. yeah, i remember my brother, Steve, would make triple decker hot dog sandwiches with four dogs and lotsa mustard. and am i weird, or did you people (who ate cotto salami sandwiches as a kid) pick out the peppercorns too?

WTF?

is everyone joining the California gubernatorial race? first it was Ah'nold...and now it's another Arnold...but a sit-com one. Gary Coleman has decided to run in the recall race as well...whatchoo talkin' about shorty?!? it's gotten so crazy in CA that even Gallagher the comedian is gathering signatures...when is Anna Nicole Smith gonna get on the ticket? maybe not though, the $3500 fee for declaring candidacy would sure cut into her prescription meds...

so...what is it about celebrities who want to go out and woefully attempt to revive their kaput acting careers? i guess it's hard to walk away from the fame and lights once you've been smitten... still, if you have been typecast and have an impossible time getting out of the image, maybe it's time to find another career. what about being an agent? you already know the ropes...

recently, the king-of-smut talk shows (not Howard Stern, he's got intelligent things to say...but chauvinistic too), Jerry Springer, has decided to not run for the Ohio senate. good move. i don't think that anyone could take him seriously now. besides, he's probably making WAY better money for his show. nevertheless, he (at least) has experience in politics since he was mayor of Cincinnati in the late 70's; he wasn't just thinking of running for office for exposure.

you know, maybe Mini Me should run for guvn'r of CA too. after all, if one short actor is running for office, why not another? it seems that not only is CA short $38 billion in their budget, but they've cornered the market on being short on rationale as well. what a freakin' three ring circus...

quietly lurking...

haven't had much to say lately (yeah, i know i've said that before and ultimately have proven myself wrong), so i've resorted to reading everyone else's news a couple times a day. does that make me a manic reader? a blog-stalker? a boring boob?

i see that Denny is battling some strange illness with West Nile-like symptoms that includes a free sample of 'how to make yerself look like a human zit.' cool, how many points is Oxy 10's stock gonna go up?

two words for ya - beetle tea. i know it sounds gross, but Chinese acupuncturists prescribe a tea that is partially made with beetle carpaces for skin afflictions. my mom and lois had to drink it for shingles treatment and my sister, shirley, had to down it for eczema problems. it works though. a combination of needling and these 'herbs' accelerated recovery from these two dermatological nuisances.

i have heard that adult-onset shingles can trouble you for many months after the acute symptoms go away. for some, the nerves' ghost pains can even last a year to eighteen months. both my mom and lois were fine within two months; totally problem free afterwards. i'm sure i would have been bonkers...

luckily though, i haven't had shingles. unfortunately, i have had chicken pox, so there is a chance i may get shingles someday...ugh...probably only a minimal chance though. however, i have had to drink some really strange tea that my acupuncturist prescribed. it was for labyrinthitis, which is viral infection that affects part of your inner ear, by causing the labyrinth (which controls your equilibrium) to swell. it causes dizziness, loss of balance, vomiting, and sensitivity to light. in a way, it affects your back as well, like meningitis...but it isn't bacterial (like mening...), so you wouldn't need the spinal tap - thank GOD! and fortunately, it's not super contagious and life-threatening like mening... still, it's crappy enough to wish upon a worst enemy heh

i contracted labyrinthitis about seven years ago. i remember turning off the alarm...getting out of bed... and not being able to walk a straight line to the door. it was not as fun as being way drunk either. the room was spinning REAALLYY fast; imagine speeding up the tilt-a-whirl and not being able to get off - THAT'S what it's like. i did not know what was going on. furthermore, i did not realize that i was going to be in my bathroom, worshipping that all holy porcelain god, for the next few hours. the spinning was so bad, i could not open my eyes without being sick...and the dry heaving was the worst. i ended up sleeping in the bathroom out of a matter of convenience and comfort - yikes!

anyway, to make a long story short, i went to emergency...scared the shit out of the people waiting in line with me...and got back home at around midnight, with some lame pills that only worked for a day or two to help my dizziness. in fact, the only thing that truly helped my labyrinthitis was getting needled and drinking the chinese herbs.

the acupuncture was really effective. my acupuncturist, Dr. Patty Wang (no relation...her 'Wang' means 'king' in chinese...my 'Wong' means 'yellow'), told me that (in acupuncture) the heavy work would be done on my legs and back...and that i would notice an increase in my urine production. NO...I WASN'T PEEING LIKE A RACEHORSE ;) after about 4 or 5 treatments (and gallons of pee ;), i was about 90 percent better. still, it would be almost two more months before i could walk or drive coherently enough to go to work.

yet, all that needling would have been less effective had it not been supplemented with the odd tea that i had to drink. instead of beetle tea, she prescribed something called 'Dragon Rock' tea. it was a really weird, black hunk that dissolved in the hot water and made for some FREAKIN' EVIL tastin' tea. i think i had to drink it twice a day. god, it tasted so bad warm that i had to refrigerate it and drink it cold, which actually made it a little more palatable...but nothing even approaching pleasant!

it's not that the tea was putrid or smelly, it was just head bashing bitter. if you weren't so paralyzed by the taste, it could probably make you cry...once you got out of the coma.

you know, maybe that's the power of the chinese herbs... i am convinced that they taste so bad because it allows your mind to tell your body to either get better or suffer the consequences by gagging more tea down! you're sitting there saying, 'fuckfuckfuck, i gotta get better! one more batch of that tea and i'm gonna hafta get a gun...'

so denny, if you don't get better...and you need to see an acupuncturist...come on up! just make sure you use Lois' famous line when she gets the herbs, "Are these ingredients animal or vegetable?" sometimes, if it's not that serious, she gives you pills...and that's like hitting the chinese herb lottery! oh, you're giving me a (Monopoly) pass out of beetle tea? whoohoo!

just a non-blogger...

for the past couple days. nothing too new. dad checked out of the hospital with some new meds and some putrid looking textured booties that he shuffled around in...ick. you know, that putty puke color that we all stay farfar 'way (from).

i know we're supposed to keep dad from getting worked up. maybe he'll follow Kirstie Alley into a Pier 1 store... aren't those lame? so is that what you become when you marry Parker Stevenson - ewww. earlier, i busted him watching 'Beastmaster' on TV. now, i don't see how that could possibly help anyone's blood pressure. some shows are so bad that watching one for more than 30 seconds makes your face freeze in an unhealthy way. it's like watching Lori Singer on 'Fame' and hoping that you go blind and deaf simultaneously (i know she actually was a cellist and went to Julliard, but she's such a shitty actress) to save yerself from the torture. Fame? no thanks, i'll take a double helping of nails on a chalkboard though.

jeez, nothing really even remotely clever or amusing to say today. it was quite productive emotionally, but not physically. airing all that dirty laundry on wednesday just wore me out ;) must find some more crap to talk about! heh

it was a good day though. one of my brothers, steve, comes up from Albuquerque every month for five days to see his Denver clients...he's a therapist who specializes in Jungian psych and dream analysis (aren't they the same thing?).

anyway, we have a kinda rocky relationship on occasion. it's always good to see him, but, for a time, i struggled with his advice. you know, people who really care about you but want you do enter a profession that they wish rather than what YOU want. he's laid off from his brotherly advice the last couple years, which has given me a chance to rest my eye-roll and heavy sigh functions. i can still use them for two of my older siblings though =)

it was a very good visit though. we hung out for a few hours and did almost sisterly things; went shopping, got haircuts, THE HORROR! it would be cool if we could get things back to the old days when he was a poor soccer player and i was his idolizing little brother - without the worshipping (i save that for my fellow bloggers ;). he was so awesome before he started making wads of money as a therapist, which seemed to change him. sometimes, the most down to earth people are those who struggle financially...but are still have a happy existence. i remember when he was a coach for Rocky Mountain Soccer and Colorado Soccer Camps. when it rained, he'd grab a bucket and soap to go wash his car...wottanut! here's an obscure piece of trivia...even though it would never be on Jeopardy:

Question: who was the first Asian American professional soccer player in the USA?
Answer: Who is Steve Wong? goalie for the Denver Dynamos during the 1975-76 season in the North American Soccer League. i think he got paid a couple thousand a season...unlike the multi-million dollar salaries of today's jocks.